House

"Here's lookin' at you, kid."

(1977) **1/2

This is one of those “what the fuck?” movies, by that I mean that with each and every scene I found myself saying, “what the fuck?” It starts off with a bunch of really happy Japanese schoolgirls, flitting around and giggling while music so cheerful you’d think it defected from a Brady Bunch episode, plays in the background. One of the girls writes to her aunt, who she hasn’t seen since she was six, and asks if she and six of her friend could come and stay with her for a visit. The aunt agrees and the seven girls, and one cat named Blanche, embark on a journey. All the while the happy 70’s music is still blaring in the background, everyone is so freaking cheerful they are practically farting sunshine. Once they arrive at the house they are greeted by the aunt, an odd woman in a wheel chair. In no time, strange things begin to happen and the girls disappear one by one.

"I'm so happy I could shit! Oops, I think I did."

" Aaahh, who spiked my Shirley Temple?"

"I'll close my eyes and when I open them, there will not be a disembodied head biting my ass. Okay, on three, 1...2...3! Aaaaah, it's still there!"

"Boo!"

The plot of this film is inconsequential because the cheap camera tricks, frequent rewind and replay loops, and overly pleasant actors are far too distracting. I believe the director swallowed an entire sheet of acid, I think I would have had to be in that same state to fully appreciate this film. It’s listed on imdb as a comedy horror, I did laugh a few times, the times I could pick my jaw up off the floor anyway. Although highly entertaining, I’m not quite sure if I could class this as so bad it’s good. Maybe a so weird, watch it while delirious from fever or with a group of people while taking mind-altering drugs kind of good. If the Brady’s had boarded Timothy Leary’s acid test bus, this film would be the result.